(Funny) 3 Easy ways to die

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://i.imgur.com/HUgmZvo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="377" src="http://i.imgur.com/HUgmZvo.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <b><br /></b> <br /> <b>3 Easy ways to die:</b><br /> <br /> Take a Cigar daily = You will die 10 years early.<br /> Drink Whiskey daily = You will die 30 years early.<br /> Love Someone Truly = You will die daily.</div>

(Funny) 3 Easy ways to die

3 Easy ways to die: Take a Cigar daily = You will die 10 years early. Drink Whiskey daily = You will die 30 years early. Love Someo...

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(Jokes) New Office Policy

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <b>(Jokes) NEW OFFICE POLICY</b><br /> <br /> <b>Dress Code:</b><br /> 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.<br /> <br /> 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.<br /> <br /> 3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.<br /> <br /> 4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.<br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/48/60/f9/4860f9738d9de9953ee5b9e75a1ff53e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/48/60/f9/4860f9738d9de9953ee5b9e75a1ff53e.jpg" width="226" /></a></div> <br /> <b>Sick Days:</b><br /> We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.<br /> <br /> <b>Personal Days:</b><br /> Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year.  They are called Saturdays & Sundays.<br /> <br /> <b>Bereavement Leave:</b><br /> This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.<br /> <br /> <b>Bathroom Breaks:</b><br /> Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet.  There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.<br /> <br /> <b>Lunch Break:</b><br /> <br /> * Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.<br /> <br /> * Normal size people get15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.<br /> <br /> * Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.<br /> <br /> Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.<br /> <br /> ~ The Management</div>

(Jokes) New Office Policy

(Jokes) NEW OFFICE POLICY Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Pr...

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Jokes: Call Centre agents vs Customers

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <b>Jokes: Call Centre agents vs Customers</b><br /> <br /> Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."<br /> Customer : "Ok."<br /> Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"<br /> Customer : "No."<br /> Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"<br /> Customer : "No."<br /> Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"<br /> Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."</div>

Jokes: Call Centre agents vs Customers

Jokes: Call Centre agents vs Customers Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer : "Ok....

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Clean Short Jokes

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <b>Clean Short Jokes</b><br /> <br /> Q : Why did the child study in the airplane?<br /> A : He wanted a higher education!<br /> <br /> Sam : How am I supposed to write a five page essay about my brain?<br /> Mike : Easy, just hand in five blank pieces of paper.<br /> <br /> Student A : How long is it possible for a human being to live without a brain?<br /> Student B : I don't know. How old are you?<br /> <br /> Boy : Teacher, Johny keeps looking at my answers.<br /> Teacher : Don't worry, he wont find anything.<br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://i.imgur.com/ZpFtTOK.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Short Jokes" border="0" height="400" src="http://i.imgur.com/ZpFtTOK.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <br /> Student : You said the school dentist would be painless, but he wasn't.<br /> Teacher : Did he hurt you?<br /> Student : No, but he screamed when I bit his finger.<br /> <br /> Teacher : Who can tell me what 'Dogma" means?<br /> Student : It's a lady dog that's had puppies, Sir.<br /> <br /> Tom : Would you punish someone for something they have not done?<br /> Teacher : Of course not.<br /> Tom : Oh. Good, because I haven't done my homework.<br /> <br /> Student 1 : Why are you going around school telling everyone I'm an idiot?<br /> Student 2 : I'm sorry. Is it supposed to be a secret?<br /> <br /> "When I was in the desert," said Nasruddin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."<br /> "However did you do it?" asked a person.<br /> "Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."<br /> <div> <br /></div> </div>

Clean Short Jokes

Clean Short Jokes Q : Why did the child study in the airplane? A : He wanted a higher education! Sam : How am I supposed to write a fi...

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